How many of us consider almost everyone we know to be our friends? may build a network in But how many of the people we hang out with, interact with, and share our deepest secrets and ideas with are actually real friends?
A recent study on the subject commissioned by Lifetime TV found that millions of Britons “can’t stand” their peers because they need too much care or don’t share hobbies. In retrospect, it should come as no surprise that many of the people we interact with are there by chance or circumstance. We may have made friends in elementary school, in neighborhoods, family relationships, or at work, but over time we began to realize that we had grown apart to support different goals, aspirations, and perspectives. I got
According to Lifetime research, 45% of us have “enemies”, people we associate with but don’t really like because they have different perspectives, lifestyles, and senses of humor. In fact, within our own group, most of us “fight” to get along.
Why is this situation so typical? I think it often doesn’t work. Through frequent mingling, we can form our own “tribes” and strengthen our social hierarchies and networks.
But sometimes our so-called friends can do more harm than good. Hmm.Do they speak for my interests, push me to be a better me, and show genuine interest?
Think about how much you give yourself to your friendship. Some people are constantly giving themselves by giving their time, dedication, and money while always putting the needs of others before their own. In some cases, we can share our hopes, secrets and expectations, but often one person is more emotionally involved in the connection. Perhaps an unexpected third party will show up to disrupt the dynamics of the partnership.
Life is always changing. Things happen when new interests arise in the form of a spouse, children, career advancement, or the opportunity to move or travel. You may have to adapt due to health issues. That is, some connections become less important, while others become more important.
Therefore, it is advisable to spread the financial risk. If you try too hard with just one or two friendships, you risk developing unhealthy levels of decency, jealousy, possessiveness, or control. Fear of missing out (FOMO) can play a role.
You don’t want to be blackmailed, bullied, or guilt-ridden to make unwise decisions from your friends, or be a victim of such behavior. For this reason, it’s important to recognize that you can benefit from your friendship in many ways. Rather than overwhelm us, these connections offer us different forms of satisfaction and support.
Perhaps there is someone we know who is excellent at his job. They have similar views and like to talk about business and professional matters, but otherwise don’t have much in common.This is often obvious when someone quits their job and promises to stay in touch at the same time. will be Even when they come back to us a few weeks later, there’s usually not much to say after the initial greeting.
Tips for maintaining positive friendships:
– Recognize that your emotional and relationship needs don’t have to be met by just her one connection. Having a limited group of close friends is great, but always take your own advice.When you expect one person to meet all your needs, it’s too much for you and her. It’s also a big responsibility… Maintaining your identity while enjoying additional friendships, hobbies, and interests.
– Be aware that certain friends have restrictions. Some people may be sunny friends who can only deal with good times, laughter, and fun. They love to support you, listen to you, and offer advice, but you may also have uninteresting friends who have little desire to have a good time.
– Be aware of how much you “give up” on yourself in relationships. What do you give and what do you get? Are there any restrictions on sharing time, money, personal information or secrets? Set boundaries so traffic doesn’t always go one way, even in exceptional cases where one takes more and the other gives more.
– Recognize that things are changing; when new partners emerge or career or business opportunities present themselves that require more commitment in terms of time, effort and even work options there is. Celebrate your friends’ achievements in a friendly way.
Be decisive and always think what is best for you. Your friends may see what you “should” do from a different angle or with hidden intentions. Sure, friendships require flexibility and cooperation, but don’t sacrifice your own happiness for the needs of others. Flexibility is acceptable, but it shouldn’t be your way of life. Make sure your friendship is beneficial to you.
Susan Lee is a noted counselor, hypnotherapist, author, and media presenter who works with clients on issues of assertiveness, stress management, and self-confidence. She works with individuals, couples and provides support and workshops to companies.
She is the author of her next three books.
‘Coping with stress and controlling its effects’, ‘101 days of inspiration #tipoftheDay’, ‘Coping with death and coping with grief’. All three offer easy-to-follow sections, advice, and suggestions to make you feel better.
